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Why do parents often refuse to believe that their own child is a bully?

When parents refuse to believe that their child is a bully
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It can be difficult for parents to believe that their own child could bully someone else, but there are many signs to look out for. If you find yourself asking “Why won’t parents believe that their child is a bully?” then this blog post will help answer your questions and give you advice on how to deal with bullies!

Many parents don’t think their own child would bully someone else because they can see them as a loving and caring individual. They don’t believe that their child would be capable of doing such a thing. 

Collette shared. “When my son was in elementary school, one of his good friends would do anything he could to ruin my son’s day. His favorite thing to do was tell my son that everyone hated him and no one liked him. 

When I talked to the bully’s mother about his behavior, she denied that her son could ever do such a thing. 

Everyone has two sides to their personality, and it is possible for the bully to be a caring person at home with their family but then act differently when they are around their friends. This can easily lead parents down the wrong path of thinking that there must have been someone else who was bullying your child or causing him/her trouble.

Any child is capable of good and bad behaviour, so don’t be too quick to judge a whole family because of the actions of one member.

Don’t confront the bullies’ parents

It can be very tempting to approach a parent if you suspect that their child is bullying your own. However, this isn’t usually the best course of action. 

The vast majority of parents will deny that there is any problem with their child and may even become defensive or hostile towards you in response. Instead, focus on keeping detailed records. This will help to provide concrete evidence that bullying is taking place, which can be useful if you need to involve other professionals or authorities.

When you criticize someone’s child they can take serious offence . So, it is important to remember that you are not attacking the parents, but reporting their child who has been engaging in bullying behavior.

Report the bullying to the teacher

Why do parents often refuse to believe that their own child is a bully?

When you notice that your child is being bullied, report it to the teacher. They will be able to take action more effectively if they have documentation of what has happened and can also provide structure for how things should improve in class as well as support for your own child.

If you talk to the teaher verbally, make sure to send a follow up email to have a written record of what happened.

The teacher will know the right course of ation and when to get the principle involved if it is a more serious situations. 

It is important not to tell anyone else about the bullying at this stage. Doing so could make the situation worse for your child and may even lead to more bullying. Wait until you have spoken with the teacher before telling other family members or friends.

Dealing with a bully is frustrating

Feeling angry and frustrated?  You’re not alone! Many parents feel this way when they suspect bullying has taken place but find their concerns ignored by other adults. It can seem as though everyone around you is choosing to ignore what is happening, but this isn’t because they don’t care. In fact, the opposite may be true: many adults are simply worried that if they intervene then their own child might also become a victim of bullying and so choose not to get involved at all. 

The best way to deal with bullies is by using a multi-faceted approach that includes parents, teachers and other authorities. With enough evidence of the bullying taking place, it will be easier to get the support needed to put an end to it.

Learn how to protect your chid from bullies quickly with our FREE TRAINING video. This class is perfect for parents of kids (6 – 12) who want to prevent or stop their child being targeted by bullies.

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When parents won't admit their kid is a bully


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Bryn Todd

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