Parents often ask me what is bully proofing? When you’re bully proofing, you’re preparing your child for multiple situations with bullies at school, and how to show up at school with confidence with friends, schoolwork and with schoolwork.
Essentially, what you’re doing is you’re equipping your child to show up for challenging situations in the best possible way.
I want you to think of it like a job interview where people go to a job interview, they research the company, and then they get on Monster, and then look at the top questions, they’re most likely going to be asked, they prepare for scenarios. And then if they’re really keen, they get a friend to go through answering questions with them. And then they go to the interview, and they crush it. So that’s essentially what you will be doing for your kid, you will be prepping them for all situations that they may encounter.
The first step of bully proofing is to teach your child how to deal with teasing
Let’s start with teasing, it’s a given that your child by grade 12 is going to be teased. And a lot of teasing happens in elementary school, and it continues on in high school and friend groups. So you want to set your child up to expect teasing to know how to respond, how to react, and what to say. And the beauty of this is, when your child is really quick at the responses, the bully will most likely move on to someone else opposed to the child that doesn’t respond and becomes a target. So that’s the first thing you want to help prep your child with. This YouTube video is for educational and informational purposes only.
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Bully proofing is also seeing if your child has any blind spots
The next thing you want to do is you want to look and see if your kid has any blind spots. And sometimes as parents, this is really challenging, because we can’t see our child’s blind spots, because we may have them as well. But they may have a behavior at school that singles them out, that puts people off, it could be something like standing too close to people, and just puts people off.
And if we often fix one or two key things, kids can have a much better experience. And this is the same for socially, as well. So if you have a child that talks constantly about things that nobody else is interested in, they’re going to put people off and you know, some parents who say, Oh, that’s not true. My Johnny, he would never, you know, talk too much or put people off?
Well, we’ve all seen it at a party where you know, you’re stuck with a guy that won’t stop talking for 10 minutes about something that you have no interest in, and you’re trying to get away from the person.
So we want to make sure that our kids aren’t doing any of these behaviors.
Confidence is the final step in bully proofing
And then the last thing you want to do more bully proofing is we want to help our child show up with unbelievable confidence. And it’s surprising that most people don’t do this. But there’s a lot of ways you can help your child show up with confidence at school. And you prep them with schoolwork, and you help them with sports and just a few things where they can really shine.
I set up simple processes with my kids that lead to outstanding results. And these usually took only half an hour a day. It’s astounding the kind of results kids can get when they have been briefed and their confidence has been built up. They can show up in unbelievable ways. And it just keeps getting better and better. As they develop more belief in themselves. They show up with more confidence at school and it just gets easier and easier for them.
I want you to kind of think of it like college prep. So when a kid is going to try to get into college, a lot of parents will work very hard. So they do well on the exam. They’ll work hard to help their kid do well on the essay question, they will prepare for interviews. And this is what we’re doing all year round for our kids. Usually, the bully proofing and social parts don’t take very long and can have really quick results. And then the confidence piece is more of an ongoing thing.
A growth mindset helps bully proof your child for life
And you want to build up your child’s mindset. And the mindset is an established set of attitudes that someone has. So you want your child to have a growth mindset and know how to deal with situations and what I mean by that is that, you know, there are going to be times where things are hard and they have to have reasonable expectations.
When your child is learning new things. We want them to have a growth mindset and we want them to go in there and know that sure it’s going to be a little bit hard at first, but with a little perseverance and stick to itiveness they can get a lot better quickly. So for instance, you know, jumping in a pool, when you can’t swim, you’re not going to be able to swim 20 lengths, but after a few months of coaching, you may be able to do it. So it’s the same thing with anything that we do. And when your kids understand that they’ll have a much easier time. So, there’s many ways that parents can bully proof their kids and help their kids have a much better situation. I banged my head against a wall learning verbal self defense, teaching it to others learning how to bully proof so you don’t have to. So if you’re interested in attending our free workshop, to learn some ways that you can make life a little easier for your child, I will include the link below.
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- Why parents need to be an advocate for their bullied child
