Why does my child get picked on?

Why do kids bully my child?

Parents come to me and ask why their child continually gets bullied. Their child may be in different situations, at a new school, a new friend group and they continue to get targeted by mean kids.

As parents, it is very upsetting when your child is singled out by bullies and it leaves you feeling helpless. Parents keep wondering why their child is targeted and they can’t figure out why.

Often the parents  don’t like the answer to this question but the truth is, your child may be projecting something to the world that’s causing them to be targeted by bullies.

Your child may have a social behaviour that may need to be tweaked a little bit to help them fit in with their peers. 

Should kids pick on others because of traits or behaviours?  No, they absolutely shouldn’t, but the truth is if your child has a behaviour some kids may be put off.

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If your child is excluded or picked on examine their behaviour

Even as adults, we find certain behaviors off putting. So let’s talk about a few of them so you know what I am talking about.

Even as adults, we find certain behaviors off putting. So let’s talk about a few of them. 

  1. When you’re at a party and someone stands too close to you, it makes you feel uncomfortable.When you’re at a party and someone stands too close to you does it make you feel uncomfortable?
  1. If you’re waiting in line and someone butts in ahead of you do you consider it rude behaviour?
  1. In some cultures showing the soles of your  feet  is considered disrespectful.

Cultures assign meanings to social etiquette, and if you do something that people consider uncouth they may take offense and they won’t want to spend time with you.


Your child may have a certain behaviour that is causing them to be picked on or targeted by bullies

Maybe that they’re missing some social cues, or they’re doing something that is causing other kids to pick on them. And often these behaviours can easily be corrected. If you know what the behaviour is you can help your child change it.

Andy, had some behaviour that annoyed the kids in his class and it caused other kids to get exasperated with him. The sad thing is that Andy never figured out that he was missing some glaring social cues.

It started in elementary school and has lasted all the way to high school and he has continued to have social issues. If someone had worked with Andy and course corrected some of his behaviour he would have a much better experience socially.

The good news is that these behaviors are fixable. With a little help kids change their behaviour and watch their relationships shift for the better.

Seek out a child to play with who seems lonely

If your child is feeling lonely on the playground ask them to reach out to a child who looks like they could use a friend. Ask to join in with whatever they are doing or go up and start up a conversation.

We can all use a few more friends.

Learn how to protect your chid from bullies quickly with our FREE TRAINING video. This class is perfect for parents of kids (6 – 12) who want to prevent or stop their child being targeted by bullies.

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Got any comments, questions or tips when you wonder why your child gets picked on? Share them in the comments below.

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Bryn Todd

I created this site to help parents bully-proof their children and turn bullying situations around… Read more

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