You may wonder why your child didn’t tell you that they were being picked on at school, or that their best friend had turned against them and that they weren’t their friend anymore.
And there could be a very good reason why your child didn’t share what’s going on with you. The reason is that your child doesn’t really fully understand that their best friend is no longer their friend.
Maybe your child hasn’t been through a friendship breakup before and they don’t have the context to understand it.
The way that I want you to think about it is when you have gone through a breakup, it doesn’t really make sense at the time when you’re going through it. But it certainly makes sense afterward, when you find out that your partner’s intent was to end the relationship.
You start putting the pieces together, you think back to when they canceled on a date night or didn’t introduce you as their partner at an event. And then all the things they did along the way start to make sense to you.
You remember that they stopped returning your calls, they were indifferent towards you. When it’s over everything starts to add up.
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Kids may not understand that they are being bullied
Your child may not clearly know what’s going on with their friend and that’s why it’s sometimes good to be there just to listen to ask sideways questions and find out what’s really going on.
Sideways questions aren’t direct questions asking about a problem, but they give you insight into your child’s day.
Sideways questions will help you find out if your child is being bullied
- Who did you sit with at lunch today?
- Did you see anybody doing anything unkind today?
- Did anyone make you smile today?
These questions that give you a sense of your child’s day without coming out and directly saying, did anyone do anything mean to you today? Or is anything going on at school that I should know about? So they’re basically indirect questions to figure out what’s going on with your child.
And you can sometimes piece it together a little easier than your child can who has a very basic context of what it means when you’re no longer friends with someone in elementary school.
More posts you may like
- Confident kids are less likely to be picked
- Comebacks can stop bullying
- Bully proof your child by teaching strong boundaries
Watch our free class to learn how to protect your child from bullies.
Got any comments, questions or tips when you child doesn’t tell you that they are being bullied? Share them in the comments below.
