Often parents will start thinking about bully proofing their child because their child’s getting picked on at school and all of a sudden they’re looking for an absolutely urgent solution.
Often what will happen is the bullying will stop for a little while, and the parents will put it on the back burner. And they’re not really thinking about bully proofing, and then it starts up again with a vengeance.
The best time to bully proof is now
Truthfully, the best time to bully proof your child is right now, if your child has any major blind spots, or they’re missing social cues, there’s a pretty good chance that they’re going to continue to be picked on until these issues have been resolved.
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Bully proofing is helping your child shift their approach
I want you to think of it a little bit like dating. So I know a guy and he’s trying to date women, and he was trying to impress and he was just trying too hard. When he was trying to impress he came off as desperate. And when he stopped trying to impress and he just acted like he usually did with his friends, he had much more success with the ladies.
So all he really needed to do was shift his approach. So usually with a few tweaks, parents can really help improve their child’s situation. Once parents know what to look for, they can help their child identify blind spots and tweak and fix social cues. Your child is going to need your guidance to help resolve this.
Parents will reach out to me in June because their child is being picked on, and I don’t know what it is, the hormones summer coming, kids seem to act up a lot in June. You know, they’re worried about their child, they want to fix it and then summer comes and school stops. And they don’t think about it and it stops and they’re thinking okay, it’s better.
Hopefully it won’t happen again in September. But then September comes and it starts up again. And the reason it starts up again is because their child just has not learned the skills or shifted the behavior they need to to make the bullying stop. Even if you’re on summer vacation, it truly is the perfect opportunity to teach your child and give them the skills that they need. So they’re not a target for bullies.
Bully proofing consists of learning key life skills
These key skills will help your child deal with difficult situations for a lifetime. Eventually, your child will deal with bad friends, prickly bosses and friend group issues. And it would help your child to have the skills to deal with some of these issues in advance so they’re fully prepared when situations arise.
The best time to plant a tree was several years ago, but the second best time is now and it’s the same with bully proofing. Give your child the skills that they need to deal with classmates today. Leave a comment below and let us know when you think the best time to bully proof your child is.
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- Why parents need to be an advocate for their bullied child